some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
