Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
