let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How naked do you want me to be?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
