does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this just has baby written all over it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
