You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize