Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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