Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
