just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
