You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
