she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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