Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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