can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
