even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
