I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My bed smells like the plague
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