Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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