First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
