Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
