pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
