is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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