I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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