I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize