Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
