Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
