i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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