so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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