if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
