Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
