Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
