I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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