dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
