I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
