Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
