i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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