Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This gyro tastes like lonliness
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How does one acquire holy water?
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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