Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
