i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
