Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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