Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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