This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
