I wanna bring you to show and tell
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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