"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
