the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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