Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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