I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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