Whod you bang
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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