I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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