my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
