yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
