Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
