Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
