Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
