would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
