Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
