the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Couch. On fire.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
