All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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