Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
