He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
