sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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