New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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