dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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