yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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