she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
