There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
