so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
