The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
